Retreat

The thought of a retreat sounds divine. When I think of a retreat I think of a weekend away with girlfriends. We laugh, talk, and eat. After the retreat I feel rejuvenated and ready to go back to motherhood. A couple of weeks ago I learned that "retreat" also means a type of root canal. It's a root canal that has already had a root canal. Makes me a little ticked at the previous dentist for doing a crappy job the first time. Have you had a root canal? They aren't pleasant. There's something horrid about a drill going up into my tooth. As the Dr. drilled and jabbed, I clenched my fists in fear that the Dr. was going to hit a nerve that hadn't been numbed. With this piece of plastic covering my mouth I couldn't see any of the tools. I could only feel the pressure of the jamming and hear the drill drilling. Two hours of it makes for a long day. It ain't no retreat with my friends! I had the first part of the root canal done a couple of weeks ago. The Dr. expressed some concern that he was seeing black on paper he was shoving into my roots. He wanted to keep some medicine in my roots and I'd come back and see him in a couple of weeks. Isn't that reassuring when your Dr. says there's black up in your roots? So I went back yesterday to finish the process. This time he mentioned that he can see a piece of the file that had been lost in my canal the very first time I had the root canal. The file was a very thin piece of wire or metal of some sort. When the first Dr. was jamming it up my roots it must have broken off. The dentist told me that he can't get it out, it would be too hard to retrieve it. I guess I'm lucky that a metal detector hasn't gone off because of the metal that is permanently stuck in my mouth. I understand that there are a lot worse things in life. My next door neighbor is going through chemotherapy. That is bad. But I am going to take a brief moment to express my discomfort for the couple of hours I sat in that dental chair. Next week I am going to Vegas. Now that is my kind of retreat!!!

Family Update

My mom mentioned I haven't posted recent pics of the family so I thought I'd give you a family update.

Andy and Alison

Our friends invited us to their Spooky Kooky Halloween Party. I will post more pics later. The theme of the party was Pirates so we chose to be parrots. It was a blast.

Kate and Claire

Our sweet babies. They are a blessing in our home and are loved by everyone! If we were to have planned ahead we'd have Kate be an angel and Claire be the devil for Halloween. Kate, is an angel. She sleeps through anything. She rarely fusses and is so laid back. Her smile makes your heart melt. Her hair is quite funny right now. It's long on the top but thin everywhere else. It's kind of a mohawk.
Claire is a spitfire of a baby! Her cry is loud and distinct. Her feelings are expressed clearly! She'll cry and and cry and when you finally look at her she's all smiles. Her smile is huge. She is so bright and cheerful. Her laugh is contagious. Claire is the mover. She rolls around everywhere. Kate is content to stay in the same place. The girls are almost 7 months old.

Michael

Micheal is a bright boy. I love watching him do his homework (when he's cooperative) because he takes so much pride in what he does. When he gets home from school he takes his homework out and gets right to it. I have no idea what side of the family that came from. He is way into Webkinz. I don't know who is more addicted to the computer me or Michael.

Maggie Jane

Self-portrait taken. Maggie always has us laughing. She had a very hard time going to preschool this year. I was very surprised because I thought she'd take right to it. After a month of crying and disrupting the class I took her out. I put her in another preschool (she knows her teacher from church) and she is doing great. She's figured out how to take the "child proof lid" off the Motrin bottle and takes a few swigs now and then. Her largest dose has been half the bottle. Instead of saying her "v's" she says "b". So she'll say "I lub you Mom." What a cutie.

Max

Another self-portrait. It is fun to see Max play with the twins. He loves the twins as well as any baby he sees. He knows how to make them laugh. Max LOVES football. About a month ago he was talking about a score from a football game last year. I couldn't believe he remembered all the stats. He can't apply the same logic to his school work though. I don't get it. He is a great big brother.

Becky

Technically, Becky is not a member of the family, but in spirit she is!! This amazing woman has had the twins sleep over at her house since the girls were like 3 or 4 weeks old. Once a week she has taken the babies into her home so I could get some sleep. Maggie stays at her house for hours on end. Even when Becky's girls are at school, Becky still has Maggie come over and play. She takes Maggie to the store with her and they go all around town together. I never imagined I would have someone so willing to help me. When I grow up, I want to be just like Becky!!

That's my family recap. Consider this your letter in my Christmas card.

Her Special Day!

Today is that special day for my sister, Gretchen. She's turning 41. Sorry Gretch, no surprise party for you on my end. But I will wish Gretchie a happy birthday Diane style....

G - generous
R - retro queen
E - environmentally friendly
T - terrific
C - cherub
H - hilarious
E - everyone's friend
N - never a dull moment

Pop on over to Gretchen's blog and wish her a happy birthday.

There's my dedication for you Gretch. Hope it's a great one!

Excuse Me!

We went to Park City for the weekend to watch Max's football game. Saturday morning we were leaving the table after breakfast and Maggie had a special announcement. She jumped off her chair, and opened her arms as though she finished a fantastic dance routine. She loudly announced "I FARTED". I quickly looked around the restaurant to see if anyone else heard. They did. The expression on my face did not say "I'm so embarrassed" nor did it say "Maggie, watch your manners". The expression on my face said "welcome to my life." I know I'm not alone in my experiences like this. In fact, feel free to leave a comment about your most embarrassing moment where your child "passed gas". Now, I'm not trying to be gross or crude by talking about this subject because it is what it is, a fart is a fart. So that I don't offend any readers I'll try not to use that word so much. Your child won't avoid using the word but I will. First, if you want to read a funny definition, go on over to Wikipidia and read this. Have you ever wondered why God created our bodies to pass gas? I think it's so that we will continually have a sense of humor. Children make it funnier. Adults, I think it's gross. I think it's gross because I've never experienced gas before. Just heard and smelled it. There's really nothing like being on a treadmill and realizing the person next to you had eaten a large portion of fiber the day before. Isn't it interesting that we don't laugh at someone who is whistling but we laugh at someone who let-one-go? Last night Max was laying on the bed and said, "I let one rip!" Thanks Max, we all wanted to know that. Most adults try to keep gas a secret but kids are PROUD of what they can make. Well, some adults have let-em-rip contests. Max comes home from school telling me what so-and-so had for lunch because he experienced the after effects of it. One day Michael came home from school crying because he tooted in class and everyone made fun of him. Like I said, it is what it is, and they aren't going anywhere. One last mortifying experience to share. Max enjoys telling everyone how gross "it" was when I was pregnant with twins. Wait, I just said I've never had that problem before.

Shame on You!

To My New Friend on Facebook:

So what's up with the "naughty" picture you posted on your page? There are several reasons why I think it was totally inappropriate to put that on there:

1. I never wanted to see a picture of you naked.

2. Now that picture is on my computer and I don't know how to get it off a MAC.

3. I like Facebook because it's not so slutty like Myspace. How can I tell friends to join, when people like you, post pictures like that?

4. I have kids. Even though you may have thought of it as entertaining, not everyone does.

5. If you want to take photos of yourself like that, I don't care, but please don't share!

I don't think you'll ever read this. If you do, I have to be a real "friend" by telling you that I was the one who reported your picture to Facebook.

Sincerely,
Your Conservative Friend

Are you Green?

"When I was growing up" green had a different meaning than it does now. We'd always choose the green M&M's because it meant that we were horny. Whatever. I don't even think I knew what that meant. Now days, green means being earth friendly. I am not very green. I don't do things to destroy the planet but I don't live my life thinking green. My sister, she's very green. She's so green that I find it fun to tease her. She did tell me about this product and I use it on a daily basis. It has a weird smell but I am getting use to it.


One place that isn't green.... the Carl's Jr. playland. Okay, I know, it's probably not going to kill our environment but the place is nasty. There are pros and cons to taking your kids to a playland. One pro is that lunch is served and you don't need to do the dishes. Another pro is that you can talk to your girlfriends while your kids play. This is especially handy when it's crappy weather outside. The biggest problem with a playland is how disgusting it is. Dirty, stinky, sick kids all playing in the same spot. I usually bring baby wipes to wipe off my kids feet when they are done playing. Here are a few horror playland stories I will share with you:

1. While my friend was at Carl's Jr. (many years ago) her boys had to go to the bathroom. She took them to the restroom and the boys found a toilet brush that looked like a giant toothbrush. One of her children decided to use it to brush his teeth. Gag!

2. While I was chatting with a friend at McDonald's a friendly man asked us if we knew whose son was wearing a red shirt. That would be mine. Someone spilled their drink on the floor and Max was licking it up.

3. Finally, the other day I took the kids to Carl's Jr.. I needed a break. Desperate times call for desperate measures. When we were done and I was loading the kids into the car. I noticed how BLACK the kids feet were. Oh, it was gross. It took about 10 wipes to clean Michael and Maggie's feet. I threw the dirty wipes on the floor and headed home. When I arrived, I went to the back to get the babies out. Maggie decided to hand the dirty wipes to the twins and they each had one in their mouth. Ugh!

Maggie has already had Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease so if the twins get it, it won't be anything new.

Michael has been doing really well in school. He could chose any restaurant to eat at and he chose Burger King. The most disgusting playland ever where they still have those plastic balls to play in. As the kids piled out of the car they had a look of disappointment. They had remodeled the place and the playland was gone! "Darn it," I sarcastically said to myself. They still wanted to go in and we had a good time despite the lack of plastic balls. Thanks Burger King for going green, or I guess I should say for going clean! (that last sentence was pretty corny, wasn't it?)

Fashion Friday Foto

Look who turned 6 months today! I love this dress that we received as a baby gift. Kate was asleep when I took this picture. Their arms barely fit in their dresses. I hope I can get one more wear out of them.